How well do you know me? A couples quiz: 40 questions and a this-or-that round
You've shared a home, a bed and a hundred dinners, so you probably know each other well. But do you know their go-to comfort food, the first concert they went to, or what they'd save in a fire? Here's a couples quiz to find out: 40 questions, a this-or-that round and a way to keep score.
How to play
- Write your own answers first. Each of you, on paper or in your notes, answers the questions about yourself. Keep them hidden.
- Guess out loud. One reads a question; the other guesses the reader's answer. Then the reader reveals what they wrote.
- One point per right guess. Close enough counts if you both agree it does.
- Swap roles after each question or after each round.
- Talk about the surprises. The wrong guesses are the best part: that's where the stories are.
Short on time? Pick ten questions, two from each group below, or jump to the this-or-that round.
Favourites
- What's my go-to comfort food?
- What would I order at a café I've never been to?
- What's my favourite film to watch when I'm tired?
- Which song do I always turn up?
- What's my favourite season, and why?
- What's my favourite way to spend a free Sunday?
- Which smell instantly makes me happy?
- What's my favourite thing you cook?
Habits and quirks
- What's the first thing I do in the morning?
- How do I take my coffee or tea?
- What do I do when I'm stressed?
- Which side of the bed do I prefer, and why?
- What's the app I open most?
- What am I always losing?
- What's my most-used phrase?
- What will I always say yes to?
Before we met
- What was the first concert I went to?
- What was my first job?
- What did I want to be when I was ten?
- Who was my best friend at school?
- What's the furthest I've ever travelled?
- What's some trouble I got into as a teenager?
- What was my favourite toy or game as a child?
- Which teacher do I still remember, and why?
About us
- Where was our first kiss?
- What did I wear on our first date?
- What's my favourite photo of us?
- Which trip of ours do I talk about most?
- What do I think is our best habit as a couple?
- What's the thing you do that makes me laugh most?
- What's my favourite way to make up after an argument?
- When did I first say "I love you", and where?
Dreams and inner world
- What would I do with a free year?
- What's one thing I'd save in a fire?
- What am I most proud of?
- What's a fear I've told you about?
- Where would I live if I could live anywhere?
- What's a skill I wish I had?
- What makes me feel most cared for?
- What's one thing on my bucket list?
This or that: 20 quick guesses
Read both options; your partner guesses which one you'd pick. One point per right guess. It's fast, so it works as a warm-up, in the car or over text.
- Coffee or tea?
- Mountains or beach?
- Early bird or night owl?
- Sweet or savoury?
- Big party or dinner for four?
- Film at home or cinema?
- Planned trip or last-minute trip?
- Text or call?
- Summer or winter?
- Breakfast in bed or breakfast out?
- Dogs or cats?
- City break or countryside?
- Book or series?
- Surprise or knowing in advance?
- Dancing or watching others dance?
- Pizza or sushi?
- Window seat or aisle seat?
- Long hug or long kiss?
- Cook together or order in?
- Sunrise or sunset?
What your score means
Out of 40, plus 20 for this or that:
- 45 or more: you've been paying attention. Now find the three you missed and ask about them.
- 25 to 44: the usual range for couples who know each other well and still have stories left to tell.
- Under 25: not a verdict, an invitation. You just found out a lot of things to ask about.
Whatever the number, the useful part is what comes after. The Gottman Institute calls it your "love map", what you know about your partner's world, and it goes out of date as people change. A quiz like this is a fun way to update it. For the harder, more personal part of the map, try 50 deep questions for couples.
Would you rather, then compare
In La Brasa, Would you rather works like a this-or-that you play apart: you each pick on your own, whenever you can, and then see both picks side by side, with a line on why if you want. There's also Together mode, to play the same game on one phone, sitting next to each other.
Get it on Google PlayMore to play: truth or dare for couples, 60 would you rather questions and our love language quiz.
Questions
How do you play how well do you know me with your partner?
Each of you writes your own answers to the same questions first. Then take turns guessing the other's answer out loud, and score a point for every right guess. Swap roles, add up, and talk about the answers that surprised you.
What are good how well do you know me questions?
A mix of easy facts and harder inner things: their go-to comfort food, the first concert they went to, what they'd save in a fire, the moment they were proudest of, what they'd do with a free year. The 40 in this post go from favourites to dreams.
What is this or that for couples?
A quick round of two options, like coffee or tea, mountains or beach, where you guess which one your partner picks. It's faster than a full quiz and good as a warm-up or over text.